0628

so i've only got one week left to play in taiwan. it has rather been quite exhilerating going out everyday in the morning and coming home pretty late at night. but after two weeks straight of this, i think i'm slowly running out of energy. i bought new stuff, saw things i never will again, met friends that i haven't met in so long. i really had time to reflect today on why i had chosen this one brother as my hero, the one guy i truly look up and admire his characteristics, the boy i met three years ago. he hasn't changed at all these past years that i've been in america. ahah it's quite interesting how we are such different people and yet whenever we meet up we can talk for the longest time as if we had known each other for years. i believe he emodies all the characteristics that i long to have. well i'll probably write more next week when i'm back in america; i'm pretty worn out so time to nap !

0620

I've been really having fun lately. Taiwan and everything is a blast :) totally different, totally free; all in all it has been really exciting.

Today kind of hit me, all the time riding bicycles down and not really understanding what they were talking about, I just thought.

I thought about what I talked to Emily the day before also. I concluded I am a horrible person, deal with it. I'm kind of sick of people thinking I am always going to be nice, always sweet. The things I do, the things I say, I know they seem really questionable at times, but I always have a reason. If your too dumb to know that I plan everything out about my life, than just please leave and stop wasting my time. I love my friends but I am a serious asshole to people I don't like. I don't really care anymore, if you think you know my intentions for something, you're probably wrong. I think the people that are closest to me know all my mistakes, probably lived through them with me, and yet they still stuck. I really think it's the friends I have that allow me to still have some goodness inside of me. I am a hypocrite. I know. I can change that without your judgements.

A falling tree doesn't need more axes to cut it down, it needs support to get upright again. This past year I've been through a lot, if you brought an axe, please just gtfo.

People who read this probably cannot relate, cause it isn't about you.

0605

it's amazing, how in such a short time so many opposing emotions can enter and leave, barely leaving a trace. bursts of happiness, anxiety, sorrow, anger, confusion, distress, fulfillment and the list continues..

it's amazing, how people you never expected can sew together words that go beyond print on a page..

it's amazing, how the moments i wished i would forget so dearly, now i want to hold on to forever..

it's amazing how much time, or rather the lack of time can cause such a drastic change, an alteration on the perspective we preceive things as..

it's amazing how far we have drifted and yet how close we are everytime we talk again..

it's amazing i am going to berkeley, the college i did not even think of applying for..

it's amazing where i am now, and now i say..

just go with it (: